| | This summer, the topic of self defense came up with one of my students I am close with. I don’t remember how “Carrie” and I got talking about it, but I started sharing a few basic things that my dad had taught me and that I had read. Carrie had never heard any of this before and was quite interested. As a tiny Chinese girl (she’s quite, quite small), she is especially vulnerable and realizes it. After I had shared just a few common-sense tips with her, she felt much better and more confident.
When it came time to choose a topic for this semester’s special lecture, I spent quite a while strategizing. What would be a topic I enjoyed, to make the work more fun? What would be a topic that required little research? What would be a topic that interested the students and was useful to their daily lives?
Then I hit upon an idea: self defense!
Randomly polling several of my classes and students, I found that none of my students had ever learned anything about self defense. Nor are there any opportunities to take classes on campus.
When I announced my lecture topic (and did a small demo in two of the classes), most of the girls’ faces lit up. They responded with genuine enthusiasm. Unfortunately, especially during finals season, enthusiasm doesn’t always translate into attendance. But for this kind of topic, a small group is better. Most of the students knew each other, and I knew all of them very well, so it was easy for them to practice and easy for me to get volunteer “victims.”
During most of the lecture part (common sense, prevention, awareness, etc), the girls weren’t particularly into the lecture. And that makes sense. In China, there is a sense of unreality to violence. Most of the girls don’t know anyone who has been hurt or attacked. But once we got to the actual defense tactics, they were all tuned in.
One of the girls, “Victoria,” is a timid little thing. She doesn’t often volunteer or answer questions in class. In fact, most of the time, she just looks afraid. During the lecture, if I looked at her or got near her, especially as part of a demonstration, she just shrunk and cowered in terror.
As we began working on the techniques, Victoria began to get more fearful. Her partner was a very spirited, determined girl with an exceptionally strong grip. Even I had trouble breaking “Scarlet’s” grip, and usually I can break a guy’s grip with no problem. But by the time we got to the third technique, Victoria had gotten the hang of moving quickly, explosively, and with power. She was able to break Scarlet’s grip and get away!
Every time she broke Scarlet’s grip, she became stronger, taller, more sure, and more confident. The change in her behavior was phenomenal. As the awareness of her own strength began to sink in, the confidence spread through her body language.
At the end of the class during the Q&A time, Victoria asked, “After learning that I am strong enough and able to protect myself, I want to know why so many women are raped.” A question like that coming from a fearful little wisp like Victoria was a sure sign that she had really gained confidence.
Ending my lecture, I asked the entire group: Can you defend yourself? Yes! Are you strong? Yes, we’re strong enough! Their eyes shone. They looked back at me with confidence and pride. As they walked out of the classroom, even their walk was different.
In the end, it wasn’t the scores of students I dreamed of, but 15 of the girls that I care about most are now walking tall, sure of themselves. These precious girls, my girls, now know how to keep themselves safe. And I know that they will share this with their friends and classmates.
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| | Posted 12/18/2007 11:36 PM - 64 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
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